Grief is sadly something most of us will recognise. Importantly, I think we can forget that grief doesn’t only come up when a loved one passes, but when a relationship ends, someone unexpectedly leaves our life, illness or we leave a job we love and so on.

Probably most of you will have heard of the 5 or 7 stages of grief including: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Although this can be extremely useful and can help normalise different feelings of grief, when it isn’t properly explained it can sometimes leave individuals feeling like they are healing from their loss ‘too slowly’.

Recently I’ve come across a model which I think represents grief well. This model works for me, it helps me understand why feelings of grief can come up when I least expect them. The model won’t work for everyone’s understanding and if it doesn’t resonate with you that’s okay. Its just something I’ve noticed people can find helpful.

Grief is represented by the blue sad circle. As life continues, the grief doesn’t shrink, but life begins to wrap around it. In our lives we may experience happiness, joy, love, anger, depression, anxiety, contentment and so on (the other colours added to the circle). This doesn’t diminish the grief, its there and will continue to come up, but so will the other emotions and a beautiful life is possible.

Our time spent in grief may become less, and maybe the emotions that are experienced aren’t always as intense, but at times they might be. What I find helpful about this model is that the beauty of life is also there. Other feelings will come, you won’t be only surrounded by grief forever.